Can there be anything more disastrous in the world than the violently imposed regime of 10-digit dialing? I don’t think so.
As of March 1, everyone in Utah has to dial 10 digits, including the area code and seven-digit telephone number, to call his next-door neighbor to borrow an egg, invite him to a thinly disguised Amway ambush, or make an LDS Church home teaching appointment.
The Utah Public Service Commission, in its great bureaucratic wisdom, in July of 2007 adopted the “area code overlay” — yeah, sure, it SOUNDS innocuous. In a nutshell, it means rather than enact a geographic split of area codes for new numbers, they’ll just arbitrarily assign unsuspecting victims with the sexy sounding area code of 3-8-5.
It appears we’ve run out of the theoretically limitless 801 combinations along the Wasatch Front.
I will not, cannot dial 10 digits. Not at home, not in my car, not with my spouse, nor in my parents’ house.
Well, my parents live in Illinois, and that eliminates that problem — unless they too have 10-digit dialing, which is actually pretty likely given they live in the Democratic-controlled socialist utopian police state where our precious President Barack Obama used to proselyte.
You see, I recently began working from home and use a phone whose owner’s manual is long departed. I don’t have the foggiest on programming phone numbers into its memory, so I get to peck away with “every call I make, every cake I bake.”
I can’t count the number of times I’ve started to make a call and I get that lovely recording of a matronly woman baking pies who works for the phone company, “We’re sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed ...”
Grrrr. This is all a vast left-wing conspiracy, I tell you, a part of Obama’s plan for “Change,” — as in that’s all you and me will have left in our pockets when he’s done.
But have no fear — I am — even as you read this — founding an underground ACO (area code overlay) resistance/militia group devilishly yet impressively dubbed THACO (pronounced “taco”) — To Hell with the Area Code Overlay.
Though we will be completely unarmed and exercise orthodox Lutherian civil disobedience, we’ll still raise Cain and give the out-of-touch, Marxist-bent Utah Public Service Commission no other choice but to reverse their heinous crime against citizens of the Beehive State.
Dues are only $5 a month (and payable to me), meetings will be at the estate of my colleague, Caleb W., a staunch, dyed-in-the-wool conservative and chicken farmer, and possession of all chocolate (particularly the good European stuff) must be surrendered upon request.
Now, who is with me?
Here's a simple rule of thumb. If you are calling a number you already know, just dial 801 in front of that and you'll be right 100 percent of the time. Only new numbers will have the new area code. How hard is that?
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